Tantrums, Bodily Fluids, and a Saint

You may or may not have noticed my absence from the blogsphere. I would love to say that I had been carted away to a desert island and had been sitting on a beach looking at the ocean while sipping a drink from a fruit with an umbrella. Unfortunately the only part about that which is right is the desert part. I have been spewing bodily fluids from every orifice in the human body for the last 7 days and a few that I didn't even KNOW I had. It's been rough. And hot which is what caused the said spewage. I hate hot.

When I am sick, I become like that little kid lying on the Wal-Mart floor kicking and screaming because they can't have candy, toys, everything within their site and every other parent is silently thanking god that is NOT their shrieking harpee lying on the floor. You know the one. That is what I become. I can do pain. Something breaks. Duct tape and super glue I am there. Something falls off. Needle and thread I am there. But vomiting makes me become this whiny sniveling I want it NOW brat and Jigger deserves SAINTHOOD people.

Seriously, not only does he put up with my insanity, but these last seven days he has cleaned me when I was practicing for the world championships in projectile vomiting. He has held my hair as I continued to practice. He has gone to the store for juice and upon returning immediately had to go back to said store because he got Red Grape Juice instead of Apple Juice even though I didn't tell him I WANTED apple I just said juice  and whenever I ask for juice it means red grape which is why he bought red grape because seriously I would murder you if I catch you drinking my red grape juice it's that fucking good.

And then when he was sleeping and I would rise from unconsciousness and want a drink so that I had something to practice with, I would wake him. Yes people I would wake his ass up and tell him to bring me some juice from the fridge. And he would.

Without a huff. Without a moan. Without a sigh.

He would get up from a deep sleep, bring me a glass of juice which I would drink about a sip from and then return it to the fridge. I am seriously spoiled. You do not even understand how much.

So that is where I have been. I am feeling better but not back. I haven't read any blogs. I will. Eventually. Maybe. Who the fuck am I kidding I don't read blogs. Well except for one or two and you all know who you are and since you're probably the only ones reading this anyways you already know all of this so whatev.

Our regularly scheduled programming will return shortly.