We do for others because we don't know how to do for ourselves. We do for others because we feel it is the only way to make up for the damage we feel our craziness is doing to society. We do for others because it makes us feel good when nothing else in the whole world does, not even pills. We stay quiet and sit in the corner because others seem so much more needy. We require so little, you and I. A fact which does not sit well with others who would label us as too much to handle. When in truth, all those such as us really need is a bit of understanding, a bit of reciprocation, maybe a touch on the cheek once in a while and a sly wink. The rest of the world is needy. I'd rather be crazy. ~~Aimee

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Honesty Sucks Monkey Dick



First I would like to preface this post by saying I am being forced against my will to blog. I did not want to blog. I wanted to crawl into a dark little corner and have a pity me party but oh no, bitch would not let me. Bitch had to stick her gawddamn nose all up in my bizness and is forcing me to blog because it will be all therapuetic or some such nonsensical shit as that. So yea bitch, I love you.

I don't really know if monkeys have dicks, but if they did, then honesty would blow each and every one of them because honesty is a big fat crock of SHIT. I don't know who came up with the idea of HONESTY but obviously it was someone who never has been honest in their whole life and thought hmmm how can I make money oh I know I will get people to believe my bullshit.

I was honest with my husband. I am no angel. I am not proud of the shit I did but I also don't feel the need to LIE about it either. Some of what I did was when I was manic some was when I just plain fucking stupid, but either way I did what I did. I have never been one to shy away from that. Most people misinterpret my honesty but that is ok they suck monkey dick too so I could care less what they fucking think. Monkeydickfuckers.

The reason I was so honest with my husband is because we have a LOT of mutual friends. Friends who I was certain would be more than happy to fill my husband in on my past. I thought by me telling him that it would keep us from having problems, but oh how naive was I. Because what I didn't plan on was the fuckholes LYING about my past. What I didn't plan on was my husband BELIEVING the fuckholes lies instead of me. But that is what happened and for three years now I have tried my best to make him believe me. I have been patient because he has been patient with me, but I am human. I have limits and I am at the end of my rope.

I cannot continue on being called a whore, slut, and any other word you can think of to insert here simply because two people decided making me look like a fuckass would somehow alleviate them from their participation in our relationship. By making me out as the controlling manipulative bitch, it would somehow make their cheating on their wives less important and you know what, they were fucking RIGHT. So divorce #2 is drawing near. I have already started making plans and most likely will leave right after Jigger comes back from his trip in July.

9 comments:

Aimee said...

Maybe the trip is what you two need.
Or maybe not.
Maybe leaving is the right thing to do.
Maybe not.
But all roads lead somewhere,
and you must travel them to find their end.
You deserve to be happy.
You are an amazing person, a woman I am honored to know.
You deserve to be happy.

Haven said...

Calm. Be still. Nothing is set in stone yet, is it? Has he said this to you? That this is what he wants? Is it what you want? Just try to breathe. Regardless, it will work out. Either between you, or for you to grow stronger outside of something that had been weighing down your growth. ::Hugs:: I'm here if you need to talk.

Sapphire Dragonflies said...

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm here if you need to vent. You owe me a verbal vomit after the one I gave you the other day. Love you BIG, my friend... *hugs*

Miss Rosie said...

If he is judging you now on something that you were upfront and honest with him in the beginning, about your past before him..... he needs to get some counseling. you will always have people in life that like to talk and run their mouth.. I know.. I have a skank in my life that spreads lies just as much as she spreads her... well, you know.

Miss Rosie said...

BTW - I like your new design

lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog said...

my wife's past is "eventful" than mine. I will admit that I had to grow up, man up and shut up to be in love with her and respect her.

maybe your guy needs time to do the same.

putting you NUMBER 1 is more important than his ego...trust me...I know..

hugs again

lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog said...

my wife's past is "eventful" than mine. I will admit that I had to grow up, man up and shut up to be in love with her and respect her.

maybe your guy needs time to do the same.

putting you NUMBER 1 is more important than his ego...trust me...I know..

hugs again

Maasiyat said...

Right now I am too drained to comment individually, but I will get to you all. I love you guys and thank you so much for your kind words. They mean the world to me. More than you can imagine. This story is far from over, but I just couldn't write more. I promise to finish it tomorrow. Thank you all you have no idea how amazingly fabfucktabulous you all are.

The Bipolar Diva said...

I'm so with you on the honesty thing!

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