We do for others because we don't know how to do for ourselves. We do for others because we feel it is the only way to make up for the damage we feel our craziness is doing to society. We do for others because it makes us feel good when nothing else in the whole world does, not even pills. We stay quiet and sit in the corner because others seem so much more needy. We require so little, you and I. A fact which does not sit well with others who would label us as too much to handle. When in truth, all those such as us really need is a bit of understanding, a bit of reciprocation, maybe a touch on the cheek once in a while and a sly wink. The rest of the world is needy. I'd rather be crazy. ~~Aimee

Thursday, 2 February 2012

Marty McFly & The Deloreans

Sounds like a cool band from the 50's doesn't it? I just finished reading a book and it's got me all contemplative. Thinking thoughts I hadn't in awhile. I started reading when I was about 5 or 6. Not The Babysitter's Club or Goosebumps or whatever kids were reading back in the 80's. I read for lack of a better explanation, Native American romance novels. These were books where white women were taken captive but fell in love with their captor and then refused to return to the white world. I would read a book a day. I loved the idea of living in such a simplistic way of life. Being one with the earth, and creatures around you. Sitting together as a community at night before a blazing fire as elders told stories of the ancients beneath a bright full moon. 

Not only did I dream about those times but I longed for them as if I had once lived them and lost it. I longed for it the way a lover pines away for a lost love. To this very day I long for a life I know I will never have and it haunts me. It makes me sad and unable to fully exist in the skin that covers my bones. I feel out of place and out of time. 

The book wasn't about Native Americans though. The one I just finished. The one which brought all of these feelings and emotions back to the surface. It was however about a group of people who choose to live away from society without electricity or all modern conveniences. They live as one, work as one, do what is best for the group. Maybe worlds like that only exist in books. But I search for them and shed tears when I'm unable to find them. I miss them. My heart aches to be there. When I was younger everyone use to say  I had an "old soul". Maybe I just have a reused one.

1 comment:

Deus Ex Machina said...

I think that is why I loved living overseas so much, living the way we did. Yes, we lived in the most tech savvy country in the world, but we didn't live in the city. We lived in the country, on a hillside, next to a farm, where we woke up with rooster calls every morning. We had no car. We had no washers or driers. We had to go outside to get to the bathroom. And I fucking LOVED it. I loved every minute I lived there. And I would go back tomorrow.


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