I cried today. I don't know why or what brought it on. I just went to pee. Sitting there,suddenly a death sob exploded from me and the harder I tried to push it back in the further out it came. Until my face and floor were soaked with saltiness. Then as quickly as it came, it left. Sucked back into the black hole from whence it came. I walked back into our room, smiled at Jigger, and went on as if nothing had happened. Yet my head is spinning and my heart hurts and I don't know why.
We do for others because we don't know how to do for ourselves. We do for others because we feel it is the only way to make up for the damage we feel our craziness is doing to society. We do for others because it makes us feel good when nothing else in the whole world does, not even pills. We stay quiet and sit in the corner because others seem so much more needy. We require so little, you and I. A fact which does not sit well with others who would label us as too much to handle. When in truth, all those such as us really need is a bit of understanding, a bit of reciprocation, maybe a touch on the cheek once in a while and a sly wink. The rest of the world is needy. I'd rather be crazy. ~~Aimee