If only I could. Run. Far. From here. From me. From everything that surrounds me. To some place. Where there are no people. No rules of how you're suppose to be. No little holes to try to fit it and you're not able. No hurt. No pain. Just silence. And the wind.
If only it were that easy. If only I could squeeze myself hard enough into a little ball until I disappeared within myelf. Fell through time and space into nothingness. If only I did not exist. I question my reason for being everyday. Everywhere I go I reek havoc and chaos upon those around me. Hatred and disgust are my two best friends. They follow me everywhere. They never leave my side. They are the only certainty in this uncertain world. I cannot love nor be loved. I cannot live near others nor allow them to live near me. I cannot simply be nor do I want to be. Then what is the point?
Why am I here? Just to be a plaything for the universe. A broken toy to knock around when it feels bored. What did I do that was so wrong so heinous that I deserve this so called existence that has been forced upon me? When will I ever be free?