So every night Jigger and I have this routine. He gets ready for bed first and gets in said bed first. I go last and turn off the light and then proceed to get in the before mentioned bed. Only last night as I got into the bed. I suddenly and with absolute terror cannot find Jigger's arms and proceed to scream with panic
"OMG WHERE ARE YOUR FUCKING ARMS?"
Even though I cannot see his face because it is pitch ass dark, I am certain he looked at me like WTF?, but he only said " Uhhh attached to my shoulders."
I was like "I can't find them" as I proceed to run my hands frantically over his upper torso searching for his arms At which point he removes them from under his head and grabs my frantically searching hands and goes "Did you really think they just fell off in the 0.3 secs it took you to walk from the light switch to the bed?"
That is the exact moment I realize "This is Proof #456231785964 That I am Crazy"
The End
Pretty pretty please
Don't you ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect
"fuckin' perfect-pink"
6 comments:
Pfft...that ain't crazy. That's just funny. I'll have to tell you sometime about the conversations I have with my dog. She gives great advice...
There is no way she gives better advice than my Stinker and there is no softer shoulder to cry on.
Nice. I love psycho moments like that. It just reminds me that this damn planet would be far too banal without us in it.
I was talking to myself in the shower the other day, and my youngest asked "who's in there with you" No one honey, just me.
"Then whats are you talkings about?" (she's 8 :)
I thought for a few seconds....
then
"I don't know sweetie, I never pay attention"
Lmao...that's so randomn...and something I'd do...yea just freak out like that, and actually believe it too.
yea that is the scary part. I really and truly thought his arms had just "fallen off". Luckily for me Jigger puts up with these little bouts of insanity lol
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