I've been crying for 48 hrs and it's starting to piss me off. It just won't stop. The pain. The ache inside it's too much. I have no idea what I'm going to do. No idea where to run. Where I can just disappear into nothingness. But yet the tears don't stop falling. Everyone is looking to me to fix it. To make it better. Everyone depends on me but I'm so weak. So unstable. I can't bear their weight. They are hungry but there is no food.No money.
What am I suppose to do? Apparently cry because that is all I seem to be capable of doing for the last two fucking days. The more I try to stop them from coming the more they fall. I don't know what to do. Who to trust anymore. Every time I trust someone they use me, toss me aside. Break me in ways I didn't know I could be broken and yet I stupidly trust again. When will I learn? I can trust no one. If they breathe, they are untrustable. I am alone.
3 comments:
You are never alone, as long as I have breath.
It sounds if your very overwhelmed by the demands of some people. It feels like a string on your neck with everyone pulling in all directions. You might have to make some boundaries so you don't feel so shit on. People will keep doing it until you have nothing left until you get very angry and set some boundaries.
I am just now reading this. Trying to catch up after being offline for a few days. You break my heart with what you've written in this space. For all your struggles, you are a warrior. You represent strength that I cannot find in my own life. I don't have to tell you how much I think of you because you know...But, just in case you've forgotten, even a little, I love you muchly, my friend...
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