We do for others because we don't know how to do for ourselves. We do for others because we feel it is the only way to make up for the damage we feel our craziness is doing to society. We do for others because it makes us feel good when nothing else in the whole world does, not even pills. We stay quiet and sit in the corner because others seem so much more needy. We require so little, you and I. A fact which does not sit well with others who would label us as too much to handle. When in truth, all those such as us really need is a bit of understanding, a bit of reciprocation, maybe a touch on the cheek once in a while and a sly wink. The rest of the world is needy. I'd rather be crazy. ~~Aimee

Monday, 5 September 2011

Nothing Else To Do



I've been crying for 48 hrs and it's starting to piss me off. It just won't stop. The pain. The ache inside it's too much. I have no idea what I'm going to do. No idea where to run. Where I can just disappear into nothingness. But yet the tears don't stop falling. Everyone is looking to me to fix it. To make it better. Everyone depends on me but I'm so weak. So unstable. I can't bear their weight. They are hungry but there is no food.No money. 

What am I suppose to do? Apparently cry because that is all I seem to be capable of doing for the last two fucking days. The more I try to stop them from coming the more they fall. I don't know what to do. Who to trust anymore. Every time I trust someone they use me, toss me aside. Break me in ways I didn't know I could be broken and yet I stupidly trust again. When will I learn? I can trust no one. If they breathe, they are untrustable. I am alone.

3 comments:

Aimee said...

You are never alone, as long as I have breath.

Kristy said...

It sounds if your very overwhelmed by the demands of some people. It feels like a string on your neck with everyone pulling in all directions. You might have to make some boundaries so you don't feel so shit on. People will keep doing it until you have nothing left until you get very angry and set some boundaries.

Sapphire Dragonflies said...

I am just now reading this. Trying to catch up after being offline for a few days. You break my heart with what you've written in this space. For all your struggles, you are a warrior. You represent strength that I cannot find in my own life. I don't have to tell you how much I think of you because you know...But, just in case you've forgotten, even a little, I love you muchly, my friend...

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