I don't talk much about religion on this blog, and while I don't follow the ritualized dogmas of religion, I do have a very strong set of core beliefs. My every non crazy action is based upon those core beliefs and values. This is why next month I'm taking a week off of work. Because it is more important to observe my beliefs than to earn money. While I believe this to the very depths of my being and existance and have no desire to actually work, the crazy part of my brain is freaking out. I recently started my own business and after a lot of hard work, it's doing pretty well. The crazy part of my brain is paranoid that if I take a week off work, then people will think I've disappeared and I will lose all of my business and all of my hard work will be lost.
Even IF that happens I'd still take the week off work, but having such conflicting thoughts troubles me. I want to be firm and strong in my beliefs, but when these thoughts appear it's hard to know if it's just the crazy talking or if there is a crack in my foundation. I don' t really know and while I hope people don't forget me so easily I worry so much that they will. It's a strange place to be. Wanting to be seen while remaining invisible.