We do for others because we don't know how to do for ourselves. We do for others because we feel it is the only way to make up for the damage we feel our craziness is doing to society. We do for others because it makes us feel good when nothing else in the whole world does, not even pills. We stay quiet and sit in the corner because others seem so much more needy. We require so little, you and I. A fact which does not sit well with others who would label us as too much to handle. When in truth, all those such as us really need is a bit of understanding, a bit of reciprocation, maybe a touch on the cheek once in a while and a sly wink. The rest of the world is needy. I'd rather be crazy. ~~Aimee

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Signs I'm Breaking


It started about six months ago. Slowly at first. I barely even noticed it and then as the weeks passed it became increasingly hard to ignore. The pain, the shortness of breath, the tightness, the flailing and whining that would occur until I vomited the water like substance that insisted upon having its freedom. Some people would call this heartburn or gerd or acid reflux. I don't know what the hell it is but I know I use to not be this old. I started cutting foods from my diet and considering my diet pretty much only consisted of chick peas, lentils, rice and potatoes there wasn't much to cut out.One by one I eliminated foods until I was eating nothing but bananas and apples with the occasional spoon ful of peanut butter and still the heart burn continued. Raging heart burn. Which just pissed me off that I was being held hostage by this shitty little acid that liked to climb up my throat. 

Me who once pulled a two inch piece of metal out of my foot and then duct taped it up and went on my way like nothing happened while my husband sat watching in horror and nearly passed out when the blood gushed from my foot as I yanked the metal out. Yes that me was being held hostage by a pain that was beyond what I could imagine and it pissed me off. I had to know WHAT  was causing it and then three days ago realization occurs. Tea. Yes, TEA. WTH am I THAT old? Tea is giving me heart burn. The one and only pleasure I look forward to each day. I count the minutes until I can have my precious sweet elixir of heaven and the bastard is trying to kill me. So yea I no longer am drinking my daily cup of tea and am NOT happy about it but I am however heart burn free. We shall see how long this lasts.

4 comments:

Kristy said...

I'm glad you found out what the offending thing was.

Aimee said...

It just confirms my idea that life is a cruel joke whose only goal is to make us the punch line. That would be like if chocolate sent me into anaphylactic shock. I'd just keep a purse full of Epipens....

Maasiyat said...

Kristy, if only it was the potatoes I could easily live without potatoes

Aimee, yea my no tea diet lasted less than 24 hrs before I caved. Although I'm having just a normal size cup instead of my mammoth size cup. I guess I'll just have to live on tums and tea.. if they only started making chocolate flavored tums I'd never have to cook again lol

aizen999 said...

ooh *hug* hang in there!

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