We do for others because we don't know how to do for ourselves. We do for others because we feel it is the only way to make up for the damage we feel our craziness is doing to society. We do for others because it makes us feel good when nothing else in the whole world does, not even pills. We stay quiet and sit in the corner because others seem so much more needy. We require so little, you and I. A fact which does not sit well with others who would label us as too much to handle. When in truth, all those such as us really need is a bit of understanding, a bit of reciprocation, maybe a touch on the cheek once in a while and a sly wink. The rest of the world is needy. I'd rather be crazy. ~~Aimee

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Yep I Said It Outloud so the Universe Can Hear

I wish I'd never had kids. I love my kids. I would cut myself to pieces for them, but I wish I'd never had them. I wasn't strong enough or good enough to fight the rot in my brain and I failed them in so many ways. They have no idea what today is. No fucking clue and that is my fault. I didn't fight. I gave in. I surrender to the decay and the rot and fell into the abyss and now they're left to swim through reality totally unaware of the truth. Totally blind to reality and it's all my fault.

I wish I could turn back time and know that birth control pills do NOT work on me. I wish I could go back and say no when he asked "will you marry me". I wish so many things. None of which will come true and today of all days I hurt the most because they have no idea what today is. They're off enjoying life and the world and they have no idea what they're missing. And it's my fault for not being there to show them.

It's my fault.


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