I have noticed lately that those I care the most about in this world live in the "inbetween" land of nothingness that I seem to be living in. I am not really sure if it is because we have bipolar/BPD or if it is just we are different. I do know that for years I have been trying to force myself into a life that isn't really something I want, but it's what's expected of me. It's what I am suppose to do. It's what people do so I do it because I don't really know what it is that I want. I don't feel inspired by anything or anyone so I don't know what direction to run in. So I don't run because running in the wrong direction is worse than not running at all.
I wonder if there is a place for those of us who live in the inbetween. I wonder if there will ever be a time when we will truly find the happiness and passion that lives within us. Waiting patiently to break free. Waiting and pretending.
Even in the inbetween we aren't free. I wonder if we ever will be.