We do for others because we don't know how to do for ourselves. We do for others because we feel it is the only way to make up for the damage we feel our craziness is doing to society. We do for others because it makes us feel good when nothing else in the whole world does, not even pills. We stay quiet and sit in the corner because others seem so much more needy. We require so little, you and I. A fact which does not sit well with others who would label us as too much to handle. When in truth, all those such as us really need is a bit of understanding, a bit of reciprocation, maybe a touch on the cheek once in a while and a sly wink. The rest of the world is needy. I'd rather be crazy. ~~Aimee

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Breaking the Mould





I have noticed lately that those I care the most about in this world live in the "inbetween" land of nothingness that I seem to be living in. I am not really sure if it is because we have bipolar/BPD or if it is just we are different. I do know that for years I have been trying to force myself into a life that isn't really something I want, but it's what's expected of me. It's what I am suppose to do. It's what people do so I do it because I don't really know what it is that I want. I don't feel inspired by anything or anyone so I don't know what direction to run in. So I don't run because running in the wrong direction is worse than not running at all. 

I wonder if there is a place for those of us who live in the inbetween. I wonder if there will ever be a time when we will truly find the happiness and passion that lives within us. Waiting patiently to break free. Waiting and pretending. 

Even in the inbetween we aren't free. I wonder if we ever will be.

2 comments:

Vinny C said...

Sometimes, when you don't know which direction to go in, the best thing is actually to just be still. Sometimes waiting is exactly what you need to be doing at that point.

Aimee said...

So many things I could say. So I'll just say.... Yeah. That. Exactly.

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