We do for others because we don't know how to do for ourselves. We do for others because we feel it is the only way to make up for the damage we feel our craziness is doing to society. We do for others because it makes us feel good when nothing else in the whole world does, not even pills. We stay quiet and sit in the corner because others seem so much more needy. We require so little, you and I. A fact which does not sit well with others who would label us as too much to handle. When in truth, all those such as us really need is a bit of understanding, a bit of reciprocation, maybe a touch on the cheek once in a while and a sly wink. The rest of the world is needy. I'd rather be crazy. ~~Aimee

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Freak Show and Inspiration from a Dead Guy



I had intended to talk about how I was part of a freak show today, but then I visited Haven's blog because that is how I start my day each day, and as always I found something amazing. She is doing this 30 day challenge thing called Trust30




#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. (I copied this from her blog)


Now I most likely oh who the hell am I kidding I will not follow the rules I am certain, but some of the prompts really spoke to me. I have joined quite a few places that have writing prompts and usually after just a few prompts I feel bored and uninspired. Fruit and letters to my 16 yr old self are not what I consider inspiring. No offense to those who are inspired by such things, but they do nothing for me. Yes my g-spot is hard to find and yes I know where it is. 
So the second I saw the writing prompt for today I knew I had to do this because it literally gave me goosebumps, my heart started beating faster and I felt a sudden urge to just "create". The prompt for to day is:


“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.”
What is one thing you can do that would make today worthwhile? What’s stopping you from getting started right now?
(Author: Jessica Dang)


Now I realize there are questions there but psfht yea whatever. I want to talk about the quote because holy hell me do I ever need to learn how to do this. Each day I beat myself about what I should have, could have, or ought to have done but didn't. I never see how much I truly have accomplished. I never see how much I have done and how far I have come. I only see how far I have left to go. I only think about how far I could have got if I had pushed a little harder or worked a little longer. No matter how much I do it is never ENOUGH. I should have always done MORE.

This is really something I need to work on. I need to start seeing the things I accomplish. I need to start acknowledging them instead of demeaning them. Belittling them. I would not belittle it if another person did it so why do I belittle myself? 

I really have to accept that I am human. I have limitations. I cannot move mountains even though I belittle myself for not being able to. I need to accept that this is life. I need to let go of that imaginary siren that beckons to me from the darkness. I need to just be. Right here. Right now. Be the flawed me that I am. Just be. 


So what is one thing I could do today to make today worthwhile? Just breathe.

6 comments:

Sapphire Dragonflies said...

Just be...sounds like a dream I want to have.

Love you big! SD

Haven said...

I love that you wrote from the quote. I didn't even think to do that and now you've given me a new perspective of approaching these writing challenges should I choose that route!

I suffer with the same problem though. I demand so much of myself without acknowledging the good I have accomplished, and without acknowledging that I have limits and can only do so much. We are our own harshest critics.

Remember to be nice to you! You're a wonderful woman =)

Aimee said...

Dude, just like yourself. Fuck what you did, could have done, should have done, fucked up, or swear you'll do tomorrow. Just like yourself. If you like yourself at the end of every single day, then it's totally worth it. Shit girl, you know how to find your G spot. You're already head and shoulders above most women.

miriamgomberg said...

Loved your post. If you are just starting #trust30, I hope you have fun with it. There are some prompts that I found redundant and therefore skipped. Otherwise, it has been a blast! I look forward to reading more from you. Miriam

miriamgomberg said...

Loved your post. If you are just starting #trust30, I hope you have fun with it. There are some prompts that I found redundant and therefore skipped. Otherwise, it has been a blast! I look forward to reading more from you. Miriam

miriamgomberg said...

Loved your post. If you are just starting #trust30, I hope you have fun with it. There are some prompts that I found redundant and therefore skipped. Otherwise, it has been a blast! I look forward to reading more from you. Miriam

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