We do for others because we don't know how to do for ourselves. We do for others because we feel it is the only way to make up for the damage we feel our craziness is doing to society. We do for others because it makes us feel good when nothing else in the whole world does, not even pills. We stay quiet and sit in the corner because others seem so much more needy. We require so little, you and I. A fact which does not sit well with others who would label us as too much to handle. When in truth, all those such as us really need is a bit of understanding, a bit of reciprocation, maybe a touch on the cheek once in a while and a sly wink. The rest of the world is needy. I'd rather be crazy. ~~Aimee

Monday, 2 May 2011

Apology Bipolar Ass

So for those of you unfamiliar with the bipolar mind, let me explain something to you. It is impulsive. It does not think. It does not consider the possibility of time existing beyond the next five minutes. It does not realize there might be a different and better solution than running away. It does not know there are people who care for it that will be there for it when the darkness comes and bends it over and fucks it up the ass. All it knows is the darkness has come and it either runs or dies. 

I wanted to apologize for the apparent misunderstanding of my last post. You see when I talk (or type as this case may be) I tend to have a running monologue in my head. I can hear every word I say/type, but unfortunately my mouth/fingers only vocalize about half of the shit that is running 500 mph through my brain, and the shit it chooses makes no fucking sense to the person who is listening/reading. Like my last post for example. I got quite a few comments, before I removed the ability to comment that is, from people saying things as if I was about to commit suicide and I had no fucking idea what in the hell they were talking about. 

My life is more complicated than trying to get Google to answer you. I am certain breaking into the FBI would be less complicated than trying to navigate through my brain. So to the three of you who read my blog, whenever I post some stupid shit just know it's just the moment and this too shall pass. Don't ever think I am considering suicide because I am way too narcissistic to believe the world could possibly still exist if I were not in it. For now I am just taking a break. I could be back in five minute or five weeks or five months. I don't really know, but for now I am just going to breathe.


Mynx said...

If it is any consolation I just thought you were going to take a break from blogging. Suicide didnt even enter my head.

Maasiyat said...

I think the people I interact with more often understood, but people who don't just ASSumed or were just being asswipes. So I just wanted to clarify things now that my head is a bit less foggy.

Lance said...

I didn't comment because I was previously married to a manic depressive (bi-polar) and of course I'm pretty nuts myself with the anxiety.

Writing is my outlet so I'll never stop. But I understand where you feel you are now.

I enjoy your writing. I enjoy your explnations of yourself.

I hope you enjoy your break and return sooner rather than later.

Oh yeah, and I'm narcissistic enough to say, please read my blog during your break..LOL

my heart is with you, I promise.

Deus Ex Machina said...

I just assumed you were busy killing Osama bin Laden. I mean c'mon! What else would you be doing?

Maasiyat said...

Lance, I am addicted to your story. I couldn't stay away even if I tried.

DEM, hiding the evidence. Shhhh!

Haven said...

Wow, I'm kind of glad my weekend was super busy and I didn't get a change to read anyone's blog. I would have been totally bummed about that.

hed said...

I'm here when you choose to come back.



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