So for those of you unfamiliar with the bipolar mind, let me explain something to you. It is impulsive. It does not think. It does not consider the possibility of time existing beyond the next five minutes. It does not realize there might be a different and better solution than running away. It does not know there are people who care for it that will be there for it when the darkness comes and bends it over and fucks it up the ass. All it knows is the darkness has come and it either runs or dies.
I wanted to apologize for the apparent misunderstanding of my last post. You see when I talk (or type as this case may be) I tend to have a running monologue in my head. I can hear every word I say/type, but unfortunately my mouth/fingers only vocalize about half of the shit that is running 500 mph through my brain, and the shit it chooses makes no fucking sense to the person who is listening/reading. Like my last post for example. I got quite a few comments, before I removed the ability to comment that is, from people saying things as if I was about to commit suicide and I had no fucking idea what in the hell they were talking about.
My life is more complicated than trying to get Google to answer you. I am certain breaking into the FBI would be less complicated than trying to navigate through my brain. So to the three of you who read my blog, whenever I post some stupid shit just know it's just the moment and this too shall pass. Don't ever think I am considering suicide because I am way too narcissistic to believe the world could possibly still exist if I were not in it. For now I am just taking a break. I could be back in five minute or five weeks or five months. I don't really know, but for now I am just going to breathe.