Trigger Warning: There are references to sexual abuse and child rape in this post
I believe in the hereafter. I have no choice but to believe. For if I did not believe then the world would be even madder than I and while I live in a brain of madness, I refuse to live in a world of it. My father is the reason I believe in the hereafter because I cannot live in a world that allows a man to rape his daughter and that innocent child go without ever seeing justice.
My father escaped justice in this world, but the thought of his eternal punishment brings comfort to my heart. I know some people might say "it is best to forgive and forget, to turn the other cheek", but those people have never had their father slide his hand up their strawberry shortcake nightgown. Those people do not know how suffocating the stench of stale beer can be. Those people do not know what it is like to have your entire being stolen from you. To be forever changed into a creation that is not of your own making. To forever be altered. To forever be stained.
In my world of hereafter, my sufferings will be avenged and justice will be carried out. I will not be disappointed. There will be no judge to bribe. No lawyer to pay off. Justice will be done and once it has been carried out, then maybe just maybe I will be able to find forgiveness for myself and that little innocent girl that I once was will finally be able to know what it is to love and to be loved.
Maybe.
This was for a Studio 30+ writing prompt. The prompt was justice and forgiveness.
5 comments:
justice WILL be done!
That thought is what gets me through each day.
The way you evoke emotions from me is scary and beautiful.
I think your justice is who you are now. But more justice will come. Excellent writing, though.
Lance, I truly look forward to your comments. I have a hard time sometimes believing the things people write about my posts. Especially if it is anything positive, but I always feel a sincerity and pure raw truth in your words. Your comments have sort of become my gauge of knowing if I have properly expressed myself or not.
This was incredibly moving, and spectacularly written...most definitely well expressed.
I also think that some justice comes from you acknowledging that little girl that's inside of you. You know her pain, her suffering. And you're also strong enough to protect her now. You're doing an amazing job.
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